Ok so since no ONE is probably visiting this blog because it's all for me, Im going to pour my heart out in writing. Here I am tweeting and read a blog of Orange Tuazon my friend in Fb and learned that she had weight loss issues too in the past and now she's in a good shape I was so inspired. I hate myself right now for letting this happen to me, for reaching what 140 lbs. ?? I really lost count. It's pretty lame and it's all MY FAULT. I really wanna lose weight for myself. I watched The biggest loser and I can totally relate. They can do it and why can't I? start of by cutting on chips and drinking water instead of everything, take the long way... actually i know all the drills but I just lack dedication and discipline I really hate myself right now I wish I could confide this to someone who's experiencing the same issues as mine. I lived half of my life looking like this, all of the people calling me names when I pass the street until it came to the point where I became numb to what they say and I think that's wrong, I should never get used to this kind of lifestyle because this is not what I wanted, this is not my own definition of ME. I wish someone is there to help me all the way, help me make it through. I pray to God for that person I know he/she is there somewhere. Maybe this is the reason why I always feel like there's always a hole in my heart, something in my life is missing, why is it just now that I realized it? I had million attempts of dieting and I don't succeed in any. WHY?? And when will I start doing something? Im talking about myself here, only ME can solve this. Lord please enlighten me, guide me. I really don't know what to do. I hate myself really. I should do something while it's not too late.. whaaah! somebody HELP me stick to my goal!! PLEEEEEAAAASSEE.
xoxo,
-cj
